I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
