garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
