He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
