Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
