Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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