Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
