He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
