Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
