i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
