So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
