Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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