he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
