I heard we made out
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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