What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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