We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
