I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
