I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he shaved USA in his pubs
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
