He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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