Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize
