She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
