Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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