It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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