just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
