Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
