Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
