Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
