you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
