Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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