Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
