On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
