Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Send help, water and tortillas.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
