You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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