He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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