3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
