I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
