You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
