Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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