I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
