Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
