i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
