my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
