she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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