he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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