Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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