So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
