Can i not drive my cunt home
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she smelled like a LAN party
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
