he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
