My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
