we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
