You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
