I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
