so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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