what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
