I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
