Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(389): View more from

So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

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(301): View more from Maryland

i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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(727): View more from Florida

but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends

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(708): View more from Illinois

I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.

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(714): View more from California

Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers

(1-714): View more from California

One time!! I like sex and food....

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