I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
