I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im six kinds of drunk right now
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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