called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
